Smile - You're Doing Stand Up Comedy!

I am a stand up comedian who did not smile. Not only was I a stand up comedian who did not smile, I was a wife, mother, friend and stranger who did not smile. The odd thing is that I thought I was smiling.

Five years ago, my husband said to me, “Sally, you’ve got to learn to smile on stage!” I said, “I do smile. What are you talking about? I’m very happy.”

I saw the videotapes and realized I was wrong. Five years ago, I began to teach myself to smile. I made it my mission and passion. I wanted to communicate correctly how I was feeling. If I met someone, I thought to myself, “Make youself smile!” When I greeted my children when they came home from school, I thought, “Make yourself smile!” And, of course, on stage, it was a constant, “Make yourself smile!”

At first smiling felt very insincere because it required a constant mental and physical effort. However, as I continued my efforts, I realized that, in fact, it was much more sincere to be happy and communicate that emotion. It changed my life so greatly for the better. If you are not a natural smiler, now is the time to make the change.

I’m convinced that smiling is hereditary. Some people have such an easy time with it. They’re smiling all the time from an early age. Consequently, they seem to have more friends, successful careers and happier children. Truly they have unknowingly harnessed the power of this great secret.

Does your dog smile? Mine does. And I’m willing to bet that you’ve noticed that your dog smiles too. Doesn’t a dog’s smile make you feel great? A dog doesn’t smile often but when it does, everyone notices and everyone comments. A smile counts and it goes a long way.

Now it’s your turn. Even if you smile only as often as your dog, you have the ability to teach yourself to communicate more effectively and sincerely. It requires a concerned effort and will feel very unnatural at first. It will feel like you’re not being “you”. That’s the good news! You’re becoming a better “you!”

Smiling comes very easily to me now. I feel as if I have made a great discovery and I am truly enjoying it. The other morning as I walked my two dogs in the park, I ran into a friend and he gave me a wonderful compliment. He said, “Sally, it’s good to see you. You always look so happy!”

That’s because …. I am.

Mom Stories - "Mom, Who Am I?"

   I don’t know what goes on in kindergarten but I can tell these kids are doing a heck of a lot more than me when I was five.  I know that “David” was the longest name I’d ever seen and I still had no idea was “M,N,L,O,P” was when I entered first grade.  Kids today are reading at a third grade level at a time when my father would simply look at me and say, “Don’t flunk sandbox.”

            This was never more apparent to me the day Christine came home from kindergarten and said, “Mom.  We’re going to play a game.  Standing in a white lace dress and ankle socks, Christine looked like an angel and she spoke with the innocence of someone who didn’t know they were about to challenge the incredible competitive character known as “Mommy.”  Christine continued in a soft voice.  “I’m going think of something in the world and you get three guesses to figure out what I’m thinking of.”  Maybe this heavenly being knew a little more about playing the big slots than I gave her credit for.  It seemed that the “world” is a pretty big playing field and the human component of “thinking” could not be scored in a fair and honest manner.    I became aware that the odds of winning were stacked in her favor.

            I began to guess.  “Christine, you’re thinking of your big red doll.”  “No!”  “Christine, you’re thinking of your baby doll.”  “No!”  “Christine you’re thinking of that lamp right over there.”  “No!”   I’d lost – but by how much?   I had to know now.  “Christine, what may I ask were you thinking about?”  Christine looked at me in the eyes as if she was pulling in her poker chips.  …. “Mount Fuji!”  … I wasn’t even close.  “Christine?”  “What.”  “I want to talk to your teacher.”

A Female Comedian's Insight - Understanding Your Children's Gifts

I understand it now. I understand how to recognize a unique "gift" within oneself. After years of soul searching I have been able to share my insights with my children and other adults. I find it funny that a personal gift should be so difficult to recognize. To our friends it can be quite apparent. It is best to listen to friends and family as they praise our uniqueness. It is difficult for us to recognize our own gift because we assume everyone shares our talents.

With my own children I was always on the lookout for clues. It was a daily fun exercise to notice repeated patterns of actions or words that were unique to each child. My oldest son, Brendan, was only six years old the first time he asked me, "Mom, what do you think of black holes?" Was I supposed to be thinking of black holes? My heart raced for a correct answer that wouldn't scar him with my lack of knowledge on the subject. Black hole questions were followed by comet and constellation questions. None of my other children were that inquisitive of the night sky. Today Brendan is an astrophysicist.
Our senior babysitter noticed our second son's gift when he was only 11 months old. "This kid is hilarious and he knows just how to make you laugh. He is the funniest baby I have ever seen." Steven established a pattern of making us laugh to tears. Today he lives in Los Angeles and is in an internship program for comedy sketch writing.

Our youngest, Christine, was a quick study. At nine years old she would take graph paper and draw sketches of the interior of her room. Every piece of furniture was measured and labeled. I said, "Christine, are you doing that for school?" Christine used graph paper for fun! Being a "math-o-phobic", I knew the clues were adding up quickly. Christine is now in San Francisco getting stellar grades. She is majoring in Architecture.

In retrospect I see my own life story was formed by the time I was eight. My parents signed me up for piano lessons and I began to teach myself to sing. I didn't stop singing. I started dancing and twirling and I loved making people laugh with my miniature shows. My older sister started bringing me to audition at community plays. Because of my lack of voice and dance training I did not get the parts. I worried I had no special talent. Fifteen years later, I walked on to the standup comedy stage of Zanies Comedy Club in Chicago as a new talent. Within minutes I experienced the joy of performing and making people laugh. I discovered my gift and knew I was home.

Sally Edwards is a professional Corporate Comedian who tours nationally. Sally Edwards' clean comedy has been featured on A&E's "Comedy on the Road" and Showtime's "Comedy Club Network."

Couch Stories

    STANDUP COMEDIANS AND COUCH STORIES

    The unfortunate adventures that standup comedians experience over the years are often referred to as “couch stories.” They generally contain elements of pain and embarrassment for the performer and repeating them has a cathartic effect until they become funny and tolerable.  A good story telling comedian knows that pain becomes funny over time.  A great story is memorable gold when riffing on the couch with a talk show host should that welcome opportunity arise.

    One of my favorite couch stories concerns a very talented comedian by the name of “Gilbert Gottfried.”  (Now a favorite face on the line up of roasters as seen on “Comedy Central.”) 

     Gilbert is a very unique comedian from New York who delivers his material in a whiny voice and squinted eyes.  What is most unique, however, is his very original material based on subject matter that originates somewhere far off in left field.  Gilbert Gottfried’s appearance is as unique as the jokes he tells.  His height and weight border petite.

  I was a bit star struck driving up to Milwaukee where I would be performing with Gilbert at The Comedy Café – an intimate room where the crowds are always pumped and ready to laugh.  Gilbert is a true talent and I knew the three days of performing with him were going to be top-notch.  One of the thrills of being a comedian is being able to work with people whose comedy I admire. 

 “Hi.  How are ya’.  Hi, how are ya’.  Nice to meet chu.  Good.  Good.”  The room was filled to standing room only as I tried to work my way to the green room of The Comedy Café that evening.  Gilbert Gottfried had also arrived and was trying to part the waves of adoring fans.  His intended goal was also to reach the same door leading to the stairs that would take him down the long narrow hall to the green room.  Head down, eyes squinting, he rarely made eye contact of those he met. 

     Reaching the swinging door we bumped into each other long enough for me to say, “Hi Gilbert.  I’m Sally and I’ll be your opening act tonight.”  …  “Hi.  Very nice.  Pleasure to meet chu.  Good.  Good.”  And those were the only words we exchanged that week.  He seemed to neither see nor hear me when I ran into him again and again over the course of three days.

     As a young comedian, it is very exciting to know that your act is being watched by someone in the business you admire.  It is also in the best interest of the headliner (the “star” of the show or closing act) to watch his or her opening act to ensure that they do not repeat the same premises and/or jokes to the same audience.  It is a type of self-preservation.  As a headliner, it is humiliating to bring up a topic that your opening act has explored.  It is an embarrassment to repeat subject matter and reduces perceived professionalism.

     Gilbert Gottfried never watched my act.  He wasn’t worried that I’d bring up any of his original and entirely bizarre premises.  He wasn’t worried that I might be so funny that he could not follow me.  He never made an effort to see my show or in engage in friendly conversation with me.  I was invisible.

    Gilbert went on stage and although he started slow and steady, he reeled the audience in with his incredible imagination.  He talked about the bizarre and he intrigued his audience as they listened to his story about how he went outside one morning and found a turtle in the radiator of his car. Anything is possible in Gilbert Gottfried’s world.   As he exited the stage, two very tall big breasted blondes became his moveable bookends as he made his way directly past me to the narrow hallway that took him back to the greenroom.

     It had been three days since Gilbert Gottfried had acknowledged me as an acquaintance and fellow performer.  In three days, I grew tired of being invisible and I decided it was time for a prank that would shake Gilbert Gottfried out of his big boobed, blonde stupor.

    Saturday night I approached Gilbert in the green room.  He looked at me as if he was seeing me for the first time.  I said, “Gilbert, I’ve been opening for you all week.”  ….  “Ah, yeah.”  “Gilbert, I continued.  Have you watched any of my shows?”  …. “Ah no.  I haven’t had a chance to get up there.”  “Well Gilbert, you know that bit that you have about finding a turtle in the radiator of your car?”  …. “Yeah.”  … “Well I do a bit about finding a turtle in the radiator of MY CAR!” 

   The screaming started.  Gilbert Gottfried grabbed his chest and fell forward yelling, “Oh my god.  No!  Tell me – No!   It’s not true!  It can’t be!  Oh my god!  Oh my god!” …  “Gilbert!”   He raised his head as he neared a genuflecting position.  “Gilbert, I said. It’s O.K.   I’m just kidding.”

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