Dogs That Make a Comedian Laugh

I'm a longtime dog rescuer, foster and adopter but it wasn't until this weekend that I realized that some dogs have a superior ability to make me laugh.

My name is Sally and I am a dog-aholic.  It seems I can never get enough interaction with my canine friends.  Owning four dogs and visiting the nearby 65-acre dog park five miles away on a daily basis should confirm anyone questioning how much I just love to be around dogs.  I find them endlessly fascinating and almost always gentle.  And even after this type of daily submersion, I still found myself wandering into a local animal shelter on Saturday imagining that day I could set someone free.

The weather this past weekend was beautiful and after my two trips to the Wauconda Dog Park with my pack I wanted to see more.  I had just fostered a beautiful white pit bull named "Beau" who I had nursed back to health from a severe case of mange.  However, when she began to feel spunky she decided that extra strength could send her to the head of the pack.  After numerous scuffles and eventual attacks, I made it a priority to get her into a dogless home.  Now I was feeling the emptiness of her absence which caused me to head to a nearby animal shelter.  I needed the "fix" of a young dog's exuberant company that would bring me joy like Beau did.

The first dog I brought out to the play yard was a Tree Walker Coonhound known for their gentle disposition and their love of running.  This coonhound had arrived at the shelter three weeks prior after serving two weeks on death row in Southern Illinois where he had been picked up as a stray. To say that this dog, "Beech", was untrained would be a vast understatement.  As I led him to the play yard, he whirled and swirled on the leash, over-powering me at every step.  As I took firm hold of the leash, he scrambled between my legs.  Regarding myself as a sure-footed dog trainer, I couldn't help but double over laughing as I saw my reflection in one of the shelter windows.

When I brought Beech into the play area, he was off like a flash full of energy and excitement.  I wasn't even able to remove the choke chain and leash.  I didn't stand a chance against this boy. For ten minutes he ran like an insane creature who was blinded by the light of day.  I sat on a bench and let him roll. Beech's next trick was to find a ball and throw it to himself endlessly. Throw, jump, catch.  Throw, jump, catch.  Boy would I love to see this guy play in the snow!  With every throw and catch, I burst into laughter and he'd stop and look at me.  It was very apparent he saw himself as a genius fellow who could act, and get a reaction, with every step.

Not to be completely dominated, I did throw in a quick lesson of "sit" - a major feat with this free spirit.  Grabbing a hold of his leash, he threw me off-balance.  The joy in his moves was inspiring.  I hadn't laughed this hard since Beau left our home.

The next dogs I took out for exercise were a gorgeous well-behaved American Bulldog, a snow white senior husky mix who was scheduled for eye surgery and a pitbull/lab mix.  Each dog had fantastic traits in his or her own way but none of them brought me to my knees in laughter.

What quality do these dog-clowns have that is generally under-appreciated by humans?  It has been 24 hours since I saw this wild uncontrollable former stray and I just can't stop thinking about him.  The fact that his presence in this senior pet/cat household would be nothing short of totally insane has yet to deter me from imagining the fun.

Beech

Christian Comedian Jokes About Her Husband

Female Christian Comedian Sally Edwards

My husband is always claiming that I'm going deaf.  I proved him wrong!
(Female Christian Comedian performs clean comedy at St. John's United Methodist Church in Louisville, KY)

http://comedybysally.com

Clean Comedian Sally Edwards Hosts Zanies' "Top Ten"

On Tuesday nights beginning on October 22nd at 8:00 p.m., the best and the brightest Chicago comedians will be taking the stage at Zanies Comedy Club located in the new MB Financial Park at 5437 Park Place, Rosemont, IL 60018.  After spending a few years away from the comedy club scene in order to pursue my clean corporate comedy at special events and women's conferences, I am returning to the Zanies Comedy Club stage in Rosemont, IL to host their special weekly comedy event called "The Tuesday Ten." 

Adding a new performance night at Zanies Comedy Club offers a great opportunity to established comedians to showcase their talents.  Whether comedians are performing new material or old standards the show will rock.  I absolutely love hosting comedy shows at Zanies in Rosemont because the room is intimate yet dynamic. The sound is fantastic which gives an added punch to the very funny material the comedians are delivering.  Hope to see everyone there!

 

Zanies Comedy Club & The Tuesday Ten with Sally Edwards

After spending a few years away from the comedy club scene in order to pursue my clean corporate comedy at special events and women's conferences, I am returning to the Zanies Comedy Club stage in Rosemont, IL to host their special weekly comedy event called "The Tuesday Ten."  On Tuesday nights beginning on October 22nd at 8:00 p.m., the best and the brightest Chicago comedians will be taking the stage at Zanies Comedy Club located in the new MB Financial Park at 5437 Park Place, Rosemont, IL 60018.

Adding a new performance night at Zanies Comedy Club offers a great opportunity to established comedians to showcase their talents.  Whether comedians are performing new material or old standards the show will rock.  I absolutely love hosting comedy shows at Zanies in Rosemont because the room is intimate yet dynamic. The sound is fantastic which gives an added punch to the very funny material the comedians are delivering.  Hope to see everyone there!

Carrot Top - Behind the Scenes with the Comedy Stars

Before Carrot Toplanded a very sweet consistent gig in Las Vegas, he took his very funny prop comedy act on the road.  I first met Carrot Top at Zanies Comedy Club in Chicago.  Carrot Top was headlining for the week and I was the feature act.

     I knew I had a rough road ahead of me because pre-plastic surgery Carrot Top was a very cute redhead and he already had a huge fan base.  When a comedian becomes semi-famous and draws a crowd, his or her fans do not relish the twenty to thirty minutes they spend watching the feature, or middle act. 

    The room was packed and Carrot Top Fever was in the air. I delivered the best show I could but the impatient crowd did not return my energy.  I felt defeated.  That sense of defeat was amplified when Carrot Top hit the stage.  The crowd went wild with his first “How you guys doin’?”

     Carrot Top can work a room.  Each prop and joke surpasses the cleverness of the one preceding it.  At the time, his piece de resistance was a joke about fellow comedian Pee Wee Herman who had recently been arrested for indecent exposure.  Pee Wee Herman starred in his own funny children’s show even adults enjoyed.  However, he fell out of grace when he was caught playing around in a movie theater – with his privates.

     Carrot Top held up a jumbo popcorn container with a big hole in the bottom and shouted out, “Pee Wee Herman’s Popcorn Box!”  The crowd went wild.  It was a true eruption.  The audience was totally in sync with their comedy hero and it was in stark contrast to the ambivalent way they had welcomed me.

     I wanted to level the playing field.  I decided to play a joke on Carrot Top during the second show scheduled for that night.

     Following Carrot Top’s awesome performance, he chatted with fans and then made a beeline for the second floor green room where he could rest, relax and gather his thoughts for the second show.  Carrot Top did not watch my show and I decided to take advantage of that fact.  He would not know what I was planning while on stage.

     The second show started and I was met with the same ambivalence as the first.  They wanted Carrot Top.  I decided to get in on Carrot Top Fever.

     Because he left his trunk full of props on stage I had access to Carrot Top’s entire act.  I opened the trunk and saw the giant popcorn container with the hole in the bottom.  I held it up to the audience I said, “This is one of Carrot Top’s favorite jokes.  Let’s play a trick on him.  When he holds up this container and says, ‘Pee Wee Herman’s popcorn box ‘(big laugh), don’t make a sound – not a sound!”  I could see the delight in the faces of Carrot Top’s fans.  Everyone loves a good joke.

----------------------------------------------------------

     Carrot Top was at his best.  The crowd was with him and he was getting ready for the kill.  He reached into his trunk of wonders and pulled out the popcorn container.  “Ladies and gentlemen,” he said in a booming voice, “Pee Wee Herman’s popcorn box!”  ….  Silence…. Not a sound!  “Ladies and gentlemen – Pee Wee Herman’s popcorn box!” he shouted again.  Nothing!  The Carrot Top fans were pulling through for me!  I was stunned, delighted and even a little bit scared (of who might be kind of upset!) 

     “Ladies and gentlemen,” Carrot Top said as he stooped forward toward the crowd, “What don’t you guys get?  This is funny.  Really.  This is funny!  How can you not laugh at that?” Carrot Top held it up one last time, waved it around and dejectedly gave it a long toss into his long black trunk.

     Facing a sea of Carrot Top fans, his loyal audience let me into their circle to have some fun that night. Carrot Top demonstrated great sportsmanship when he found out the audience was in on the joke.  He took it all in good spirits and that night he was generous enough to let everyone share in the spotlight.

Gilbert Gottfried - Behind the Scenes in Comedy

     The unfortunate adventures that stand-up comedians may experience over the years are often referred to as “couch stories.” They generally contain elements of pain and embarrassment for the performer and repeating them has a cathartic effect until they become funny and tolerable.  A good storytelling comedian knows pain becomes funny over time.  A great story is memorable gold when riffing on the couch with a talk show host -should that welcome opportunity arise.

    One of my favorite couch stories concerns a very talented and hugely funny comedian by the name of Gilbert Gottfried.  (Now a favorite face on the line up of comic roasters as seen on Comedy Central.) 

     Gilbert is a very unique comedian from New York who delivers his material in a whiny voice while squinting his eyes.  What is most unique, however, is his very original material emerges from the deep recesses of his twisted yet creative imagination.  Gilbert Gottfried’s appearance is as unique as the jokes he tells.  His height and weight border petite.  

     I was a bit star struck driving up to Milwaukee where I would be performing with Gilbert at The Comedy Café – an intimate room where the crowds are always pumped and ready to laugh.  Gilbert is a true talent and I knew the three days of performing with him were going to be top-notch.  One of the thrills of being a comedian is working with people whose comedy I admire.

   “Hi.  How are ya’?  Hi, how are ya’?  Nice to meet you.  Good.  Good.”   Gilbert Gottfried made his way through the standing-room-only crowd of fans.  His intended goal was the swinging door on the far side of the room that would take him to the long narrow hall that led to the green room.  Head down, eyes squinting, he rarely made eye contact with those he passed. 

     Reaching the swinging door at the same time, we bumped into each other long enough for me to say, “Hi Gilbert.  I’m Sally and I’ll be your feature act tonight.”

     “Hi.  Very nice.  Pleasure to meet you.  Good.  Good.” 

     And those were the only words we exchanged that week.  He seemed to neither see nor hear me when I ran into him again and again over the course of four days.

     As a young comedian, it is very exciting to know while you are on stage your act is being watched by someone in the business you admire.  It is also in the best interest of the headliner (the “star” of the show or closing act) to watch his or her opening act to ensure they do not repeat the same premises and/or jokes to the same audience.  It is a type of self-preservation.  As a headliner, it is humiliating to bring up a topic your opening act has explored.  It is embarrassing to repeat subject matter and reduces perceived professionalism.

     Gilbert Gottfried never watched my act.  He wasn’t worried I’d bring up any of his very original premises.  He wasn’t concerned with the possibility I might be so funny he could not follow me.  He never made an effort to see my show or  engage in friendly conversation with me.  I was invisible to him.

     Gilbert Gottfried went on stage that night and he reeled the audience in with his incredibly funny stories.  He talked about the bizarre and he intrigued his fans as they listened to a personal story about how he went outside one morning and found a turtle in the radiator of his car. He talked for twenty minutes about that turtle and the audience stayed with him.  Anything is possible in Gilbert Gottfried’s world.  As he exited the stage, two very tall, big-breasted blondes became his moveable bookends as he made his way directly past me down the hallway and to the green room.

     It had been four days since Gilbert Gottfried had acknowledged me as an acquaintance and fellow performer.  In four days, I grew tired of being invisible and decided it was time for a prank that would shake Gilbert Gottfried out of his big- breasted, blonde stupor.

    Saturday night, I approached Gilbert in the green room.  He looked at me as if he was seeing me for the first time.  I said, “Gilbert, I’ve been opening for you all week.”

     “Ah, yeah,” Gilbert responded with no expression in his voice.  

     “Gilbert,” I continued.  “Have you watched any of my shows?”

     “Ah no.   I haven’t had a chance to get up there.” 

     “Well Gilbert, I have something to tell you that may be very important to you.”

       “What?  … There’s something important to me?”  Gilbert leaned in closer and listened with great interest.

      I continued, “You know those jokes that you tell about finding a turtle in the radiator of your car?”

     “Yeah,” he said.

     “Well Gilbert, you won’t believe this but I do jokes about finding a turtle in the radiator of MY CAR!” 

     Gilbert let out a loud long excruciating moan.  Gilbert Gottfried grabbed his chest and fell forward on his knees yelling, “Oh my god.  No!  Tell me – No!   Oh my god. No!  It’s not true!  It can’t be!  Oh my god!  Oh my god!”

      He completed his descent until he was on all fours at my feet. 

    “Gilbert!” I shouted.  He raised his head as he brought himself up to a genuflecting position. 

    “Gilbert!”  I said.  “It’s O.K. Get a hold of yourself.  I’m only kidding!”

(I've since worked with Gilbert Gottfried at Zanies Comedy Club since this exchange and he has been much more engaging!   It's an honor and fun to work with him!)

Gilbert Gottfried and Sally Edwards at Zanies Comedy Club.

Humor Book - Comedy Mom! My Funny Stand-up Life! by Comedian Sally Edwards

My book is published!   Now on my site for purchase - soon to be on sites worldwide!

Comedy Mom!  My Funny Stand-up Life

Available at ComedyBySally.com

"Comedy Mom! My Funny Stand-up Life" by clean female comedian Sally Edwards is a very funny and inspiring book about parenting and stand-up comedy. Sally Edwards is a mom and comedian who overcomes paralyzing stage fright by discovering hilarity in the raising of her own children. Experiencing an unsettling childhood, Sally Edwards lives her teenage years at an all-girls' Catholic boarding school where she first discovers she has a gift for making people laugh. The birth of Sally's three children with Zanies' Comedy Club Executive Vice President, Bert Haas, inspires a wealth of funny stories with a positive and uplifting message!

Smile - You're Doing Stand Up Comedy!

I am a stand up comedian who did not smile. Not only was I a stand up comedian who did not smile, I was a wife, mother, friend and stranger who did not smile. The odd thing is that I thought I was smiling.

Five years ago, my husband said to me, “Sally, you’ve got to learn to smile on stage!” I said, “I do smile. What are you talking about? I’m very happy.”

I saw the videotapes and realized I was wrong. Five years ago, I began to teach myself to smile. I made it my mission and passion. I wanted to communicate correctly how I was feeling. If I met someone, I thought to myself, “Make youself smile!” When I greeted my children when they came home from school, I thought, “Make yourself smile!” And, of course, on stage, it was a constant, “Make yourself smile!”

At first smiling felt very insincere because it required a constant mental and physical effort. However, as I continued my efforts, I realized that, in fact, it was much more sincere to be happy and communicate that emotion. It changed my life so greatly for the better. If you are not a natural smiler, now is the time to make the change.

I’m convinced that smiling is hereditary. Some people have such an easy time with it. They’re smiling all the time from an early age. Consequently, they seem to have more friends, successful careers and happier children. Truly they have unknowingly harnessed the power of this great secret.

Does your dog smile? Mine does. And I’m willing to bet that you’ve noticed that your dog smiles too. Doesn’t a dog’s smile make you feel great? A dog doesn’t smile often but when it does, everyone notices and everyone comments. A smile counts and it goes a long way.

Now it’s your turn. Even if you smile only as often as your dog, you have the ability to teach yourself to communicate more effectively and sincerely. It requires a concerned effort and will feel very unnatural at first. It will feel like you’re not being “you”. That’s the good news! You’re becoming a better “you!”

Smiling comes very easily to me now. I feel as if I have made a great discovery and I am truly enjoying it. The other morning as I walked my two dogs in the park, I ran into a friend and he gave me a wonderful compliment. He said, “Sally, it’s good to see you. You always look so happy!”

That’s because …. I am.

Mom Stories - "Mom, Who Am I?"

   I don’t know what goes on in kindergarten but I can tell these kids are doing a heck of a lot more than me when I was five.  I know that “David” was the longest name I’d ever seen and I still had no idea was “M,N,L,O,P” was when I entered first grade.  Kids today are reading at a third grade level at a time when my father would simply look at me and say, “Don’t flunk sandbox.”

            This was never more apparent to me the day Christine came home from kindergarten and said, “Mom.  We’re going to play a game.  Standing in a white lace dress and ankle socks, Christine looked like an angel and she spoke with the innocence of someone who didn’t know they were about to challenge the incredible competitive character known as “Mommy.”  Christine continued in a soft voice.  “I’m going think of something in the world and you get three guesses to figure out what I’m thinking of.”  Maybe this heavenly being knew a little more about playing the big slots than I gave her credit for.  It seemed that the “world” is a pretty big playing field and the human component of “thinking” could not be scored in a fair and honest manner.    I became aware that the odds of winning were stacked in her favor.

            I began to guess.  “Christine, you’re thinking of your big red doll.”  “No!”  “Christine, you’re thinking of your baby doll.”  “No!”  “Christine you’re thinking of that lamp right over there.”  “No!”   I’d lost – but by how much?   I had to know now.  “Christine, what may I ask were you thinking about?”  Christine looked at me in the eyes as if she was pulling in her poker chips.  …. “Mount Fuji!”  … I wasn’t even close.  “Christine?”  “What.”  “I want to talk to your teacher.”

A Female Comedian's Insight - Understanding Your Children's Gifts

I understand it now. I understand how to recognize a unique "gift" within oneself. After years of soul searching I have been able to share my insights with my children and other adults. I find it funny that a personal gift should be so difficult to recognize. To our friends it can be quite apparent. It is best to listen to friends and family as they praise our uniqueness. It is difficult for us to recognize our own gift because we assume everyone shares our talents.

With my own children I was always on the lookout for clues. It was a daily fun exercise to notice repeated patterns of actions or words that were unique to each child. My oldest son, Brendan, was only six years old the first time he asked me, "Mom, what do you think of black holes?" Was I supposed to be thinking of black holes? My heart raced for a correct answer that wouldn't scar him with my lack of knowledge on the subject. Black hole questions were followed by comet and constellation questions. None of my other children were that inquisitive of the night sky. Today Brendan is an astrophysicist.
Our senior babysitter noticed our second son's gift when he was only 11 months old. "This kid is hilarious and he knows just how to make you laugh. He is the funniest baby I have ever seen." Steven established a pattern of making us laugh to tears. Today he lives in Los Angeles and is in an internship program for comedy sketch writing.

Our youngest, Christine, was a quick study. At nine years old she would take graph paper and draw sketches of the interior of her room. Every piece of furniture was measured and labeled. I said, "Christine, are you doing that for school?" Christine used graph paper for fun! Being a "math-o-phobic", I knew the clues were adding up quickly. Christine is now in San Francisco getting stellar grades. She is majoring in Architecture.

In retrospect I see my own life story was formed by the time I was eight. My parents signed me up for piano lessons and I began to teach myself to sing. I didn't stop singing. I started dancing and twirling and I loved making people laugh with my miniature shows. My older sister started bringing me to audition at community plays. Because of my lack of voice and dance training I did not get the parts. I worried I had no special talent. Fifteen years later, I walked on to the standup comedy stage of Zanies Comedy Club in Chicago as a new talent. Within minutes I experienced the joy of performing and making people laugh. I discovered my gift and knew I was home.

Sally Edwards is a professional Corporate Comedian who tours nationally. Sally Edwards' clean comedy has been featured on A&E's "Comedy on the Road" and Showtime's "Comedy Club Network."

Couch Stories

    STANDUP COMEDIANS AND COUCH STORIES

    The unfortunate adventures that standup comedians experience over the years are often referred to as “couch stories.” They generally contain elements of pain and embarrassment for the performer and repeating them has a cathartic effect until they become funny and tolerable.  A good story telling comedian knows that pain becomes funny over time.  A great story is memorable gold when riffing on the couch with a talk show host should that welcome opportunity arise.

    One of my favorite couch stories concerns a very talented comedian by the name of “Gilbert Gottfried.”  (Now a favorite face on the line up of roasters as seen on “Comedy Central.”) 

     Gilbert is a very unique comedian from New York who delivers his material in a whiny voice and squinted eyes.  What is most unique, however, is his very original material based on subject matter that originates somewhere far off in left field.  Gilbert Gottfried’s appearance is as unique as the jokes he tells.  His height and weight border petite.

  I was a bit star struck driving up to Milwaukee where I would be performing with Gilbert at The Comedy Café – an intimate room where the crowds are always pumped and ready to laugh.  Gilbert is a true talent and I knew the three days of performing with him were going to be top-notch.  One of the thrills of being a comedian is being able to work with people whose comedy I admire. 

 “Hi.  How are ya’.  Hi, how are ya’.  Nice to meet chu.  Good.  Good.”  The room was filled to standing room only as I tried to work my way to the green room of The Comedy Café that evening.  Gilbert Gottfried had also arrived and was trying to part the waves of adoring fans.  His intended goal was also to reach the same door leading to the stairs that would take him down the long narrow hall to the green room.  Head down, eyes squinting, he rarely made eye contact of those he met. 

     Reaching the swinging door we bumped into each other long enough for me to say, “Hi Gilbert.  I’m Sally and I’ll be your opening act tonight.”  …  “Hi.  Very nice.  Pleasure to meet chu.  Good.  Good.”  And those were the only words we exchanged that week.  He seemed to neither see nor hear me when I ran into him again and again over the course of three days.

     As a young comedian, it is very exciting to know that your act is being watched by someone in the business you admire.  It is also in the best interest of the headliner (the “star” of the show or closing act) to watch his or her opening act to ensure that they do not repeat the same premises and/or jokes to the same audience.  It is a type of self-preservation.  As a headliner, it is humiliating to bring up a topic that your opening act has explored.  It is an embarrassment to repeat subject matter and reduces perceived professionalism.

     Gilbert Gottfried never watched my act.  He wasn’t worried that I’d bring up any of his original and entirely bizarre premises.  He wasn’t worried that I might be so funny that he could not follow me.  He never made an effort to see my show or in engage in friendly conversation with me.  I was invisible.

    Gilbert went on stage and although he started slow and steady, he reeled the audience in with his incredible imagination.  He talked about the bizarre and he intrigued his audience as they listened to his story about how he went outside one morning and found a turtle in the radiator of his car. Anything is possible in Gilbert Gottfried’s world.   As he exited the stage, two very tall big breasted blondes became his moveable bookends as he made his way directly past me to the narrow hallway that took him back to the greenroom.

     It had been three days since Gilbert Gottfried had acknowledged me as an acquaintance and fellow performer.  In three days, I grew tired of being invisible and I decided it was time for a prank that would shake Gilbert Gottfried out of his big boobed, blonde stupor.

    Saturday night I approached Gilbert in the green room.  He looked at me as if he was seeing me for the first time.  I said, “Gilbert, I’ve been opening for you all week.”  ….  “Ah, yeah.”  “Gilbert, I continued.  Have you watched any of my shows?”  …. “Ah no.  I haven’t had a chance to get up there.”  “Well Gilbert, you know that bit that you have about finding a turtle in the radiator of your car?”  …. “Yeah.”  … “Well I do a bit about finding a turtle in the radiator of MY CAR!” 

   The screaming started.  Gilbert Gottfried grabbed his chest and fell forward yelling, “Oh my god.  No!  Tell me – No!   It’s not true!  It can’t be!  Oh my god!  Oh my god!” …  “Gilbert!”   He raised his head as he neared a genuflecting position.  “Gilbert, I said. It’s O.K.   I’m just kidding.”

ComedyBySally.com

Clean Comedy Events for Women's Groups with Keynote Speaker Sally Edwards

It has been a wonderful week booking Clean Comedy Events for Women's Groups.  Clean comedy that is non-offensive allows women to laugh without the fear of embarrassment.  We have a great time and everyone is a winner!  Upcoming Clean Comedy Events for Women's Groups include:

Catholic Women's League of Rockford - Sept. 18th - Keynote Speaker and Comedian

St. John Neumann, St. Charles, IL - September 27th - Keynote Speaker and Comedian

St. John United Methodist Church, Louisville Kentucky:  Nov. 14th - Keynote Speaker and Comedian

Christ Community Church, St. Charles, IL - Dec. 14th - Keynote Speaker and Comedian

Keynote Speaker and Comedian Sally Edwards

Clean Comedy for Women - Sally Edwards' Keynote Speaker

http://ComedyBySally.com

Comedy and Kids

When kids are growing up, writing comedy becomes quite effortless.  The comedy writes itself.  Here is my son Steven, in the company of our cat, Scooter.  They both broke their legs during the summer and recuperated together.  Believe me, the broken legs did not slow either of them down!  When they were both in the backyard I thought to myself, "What a sight!  Let's hope no one calls child services!

http://comedybysally.com

Pets are great companions and their company makes every day easier and brighter.

Zanies Rosemont - Amazing Room for Comedy!

   Comedy is most definitely like a drug.  I know a lot of comedians who have tried to "kick the habit" and failed (or shall I say succeeded!)  It is rooms like Zanies in Rosemont, IL who will suck you back in every time.  The outstanding sounds, lights and eager audience make well written jokes play like music.

     My own stand up comedy career has steered me towards daytime and early evening corporate events but the love of comedy clubs lurks around every next corner.

    Last Friday was Zanies Comedy Clubs "soft" opening night - let's say an "opening" night rehearsal.  I'd been offered a spot to be one of the first comedians to perform in the new room and I turned it down.  This was my husband's "baby" (My husband is Bert Haas - VP of Zanies) and I wanted him to soak up the credit and celebrate with him.  My only focus was giving him flowers on stage.  I wanted to tell him that after 25 years of "husband" jokes, it was absolutely time to say "thank you" and "congratulations" and "job so well done."   I wanted Bert to walk on stage and receive the flowers and get acknowledgement because he deserves it.  I did not plan to "do time" (comic's expression of performing on stage.)

  My idea did not seem to sit well with the host because he was concerned I might bring the show's opening to a "serious" or perhaps "emotional" halt and I completely understood.  He was concerned that the flowers might bring a slowing element to the stage that night and he asked that I first "do a little time."  I eventually agreed to perform but with great reservation.

    The reason for my reluctance was actually very internally acute.

    I resisted because I knew the comedy drug would kick in and kick in strong and I'd be back in the 2:00 a.m. comedy club scene mentality.  All my fears were well-founded.  With a glass half-full, I celebrate re-entry into late-night funny.

  The audience that night was outstanding and I've been "rehooked."  After many years of performing at daytime corporate events, I am re-entering the comedy club circuit.  Stand up comedy is a drug beyond personal control. Let all beware.  If you grow up seeing things "funny" and perform in a great room, there is no escaping.

France - Culture vs. Concrete

Don't misunderstand me - culture rocks!  Or do I mean a lot of culture is made of rocks, marble and concrete.

The good news is that we just returned safely from a trip to Paris.  The unfortunate news is that I traveled to France as a "debt" I owed to my husband who was kind enough to move from a Chicago suburb to a small town  that is one hour away from his place of work in downtown Chicago.  Bert runs Zanies in Chicago.  Thank goodness we both love to laugh.  It's saved our marriage, again, and again and again.

I appreciate Paris and all that it stands for but a visit wasn't necessary.  I'm afraid of airplanes and heights and I dread big cities because of the noise and overcrowding.  You'd think that would be a lifelong argument to not make the trip but Bert had romantic ideas from watching all those black and white movies that he loves so much.  He just forgot that I wasn't in any of them.

I have also become an "anti-hoarder."  After watching how the world works for so many years, I have very little appreciation for the material world.  Walking past shop after shop, after Parisian shop, I knew the costly and beautifully made clothes were wasted on this tourist.  Ever since our move to a small town I can't bear to go shopping.  I imagine every trinket for sale in a plastic garbage bag as it appeared when I donated and/or threw it out when I lightened the load in our new house.

Bert is obsessed with clothes.  He dresses well and puts on a great appearance.  We were the odd couple of this new black and white movie.

The best part of the days were the outstanding restaurants where we ate magnificent dinners.  I'd like to say there was no downside to this one however the downside is apparent the moment you enter the city.  Parisians are thin and they look good!  How do they do it?  We were now playing the part of the Fat Americans in our movie.  Well, it turns out they smoke quite a lot.  That fit well into the scene if our black and white came out in 1944.

What's important to me now is a healthy and loving family and making other people in the world feel good.  There's no store or monument for that.  It's building from the inside out.  I like to do it in green fields surrounded by rescue dogs or standing on stage and delivering stand up comedy that makes people laugh to tears.  My entire movie is in color and I love every minute of it!

Where'd I Go?

I'll admit. Blogging is a tough one for me. I tend to go, go, go and I have a hard time stopping to talk about it.

This week, we're getting ready to put on another clean comedy show in Wauconda. "Clean" comedy is being met with rave reviews as people are tired of the young and brash comedians of cable TV where anything goes. I find it ironic that we, as Americans, are so easily offended by political incorrectness and yet national television broadcasts every rude gesture, comment and word known to man. I see a gap.

Today I scheduled another corporate event which will be a get together for the women of Queen of Rosary Parish in Elk Grove Village. Although that's a bit of drive for me, the very nice woman who booked me said she lived in Lake Zurich. Ironically, we live about 10 minutes away from each other. Where did the conversation lead from there? We talked of the beautiful outdoors and (my personal) love of deer. I absolutely love the outdoors and thrive living near nature. Seeing a deer is a beautiful and peaceful experience for me.

When my family was looking at houses in this area, we were checking out the backyard of one of the homes. From behind a group of trees walk three deer - a mother, a father and their baby. It was a scene Disney creators would envy. My husband immediately asked the realtor, "Now how much did you pay to have the deer appear? You sure know what my wife likes." Unfortunately, the house was out of our range but I have since driven by it a couple of times hoping to see that vision again.

Life is good. One of my favorite quotes is, "It's not what happens to you in life, it is how you interpret it." What a fantastic freedom. I decided from that day - I will interpret everything as positive and "for the best." And do you know what?  It works.

Day 9 in a "Boot" Cast

It's been nine days since I broke my foot.  I have to say this is a heck of a lot easier than the wrist break I went through a few years ago.  Since I teach piano I really had to make some adjustments with a cast around my wrist and up my arm.

Breaking a foot can cause major disruptions in life including walking, driving, exercising, mowing, dancing, jumping, climbing, bike riding and the list goes on.  And for that reason, I decided to concentrate on the positive the minute that it happened.  My husband reiterated this when he said, "Don't think about what you can't do.  Think about what you can do!"  I imagine that should be a major thought every day we get up in the morning and we'd be on an eternal high.

Running up the driveway in backless clogs is never a good idea and I won't be doing that again.  If I hadn't been so cold, I guarantee I would have sauntered.  Now I appreciate each step that doesn't bring pain and I'm actually very happy.  The concerned looks on my friends' faces who even wince with a glance down haven't made my positive mental jump.  Every time I see a sad or worried face, I've decided I've made the better choice on how to react to my circumstances.  And I hope my positive mental attitude flows all the way down to my toes.

I never wait long to get up after an accident.  With five dogs who need to go to the dog park every day to stay sane, I really don't get a vote.  When I broke my wrist, I waited a day and returned to the park with a temporary cast on Day 2.  With a broken foot, I waited two days - only because my husband insisted on helping me with my furry crew.  Now I sneak the dogs to the park as soon as his car leaves the driveway.

I believe in healing through exercise and a positive outlook.  I will never let a doctor tell me what I can or can not do.  I will be doing it all again and that's that.  I've got a show in mid-January and I see myself doing that show with heels on even if I look like a coming out transvestite trying to walk in them

Live each day in full appreciation for all you can do and watch the world change in a moment!

Am I Really That Fat? A Photo Speaks!

One of the great things about stand up comedy is that it is a performance art.  And every performance artist is photographed whether they be a comedian, dramatist or Broadway dancer.  And boy do those photos speak!  Sometimes they scream!

As telling as a swimsuit shot, the photo taken on stage tells it like it is.  As horrible as this can be, it is equally wonderful.  I even been thankful for it as in a picture and video taken of me at The Chicago Comedy Festival four years ago.  My initial reaction was, "Who the heck is that!?!"  The supposed "baby doll" top that I wore that day screamed "Baby on Board!"  I knew something had to be done fast.  The very next day I enrolled in Jenny Craig and over the next three months I lost 20 pounds.  I felt reborn.  I felt one photo had saved my life.  Well, four years later after developing an addiction to very vanilla soy milk and honey graham crackers, I'm right back where I started.

I hired a professional photographer to take pictures of me on December 3rd, 2011 at The Energee Center Comedy Club in Wauconda, IL.  Brenda Lung Photography always does a great job and again Brenda pulled through!  However, mixed in with the excellent photography, there is always one photo begs a photoshop fix!  That is the photo that brought me to my senses - I don't have the figure I did in high school or even just four years ago.  How did I so massively digress!

I really do believe that both men and women continue to perceive their bodies as they looked in high school.  If you see a middle-aged man who looks like he carrying "full-term" hitting on a 25 year old babe, it is because his brain is living in denial.  He still sees himself wearing a football jersey who could either run 100 yards or even look great in full chest paint.  Women think like this too.  In my own mind, I see myself with skinny legs and a non-existent waist-line.  The clothes that I bring to the dressing room at T. J. Maxx are always too small.

And that is why I looked at many of my stage .jpgs from the Energee Center Comedy Club in horror. Surely the problem must be the lighting or the clothes or the hair (hair growing out! - also begging a quick fix.)  Rather than letting the depressing facts of an unhealthy diet consume me, I decided change must be imminent.  My ego and mental images of a fat-free high schooler would never let me back on stage again.

And so it is Day 4 of my diet.  Once again, I feel blessed to have the eye of a camera speak to me when others kept their thoughts to themselves.  The camera is my honest best friend who is able to snap me back to reality without a word or raised eyebrow.  I recently joined SparkPeople.com which is a social networking that helps people lose weight with health information and online friends.  It is a wonderful site to get that much-needed support and reassurance.  (Thank goodness my husband picked up a copy of "Good Housekeeping" in the doctor's office that day!)

Now it's onward and upward hoping for a better stage picture in January.  I'll post "before" and "after" pictures when I once again feel a wonderful sense of personal accomplishment!  Do you feel fat?  Don't ask your friends.  Take a picture!

Ballroom Dancing With the Comedian!

           This past weekend I signed up for a private ballroom dance lesson.  Let’s check that right off the bucket list. 

           I’ve always loved to dance and oddly enough the first song I fell in love with was “Let Me Entertain You” from the striptease move “Gypsy” when I was just eight years old.  I sang the heck out of that song and practiced a lot of dance moves with it too.  I wonder how bizarre my family thought it was that I’d fallen in love with such a provocative song.  Of course little “June” in the movie sang it when she was five in a white dress with a petticoat and patent leather shoes.  Wait a minute, who let me watch “Gypsy” anyway?  That wasn’t the all-girl Catholic school way.

          I’ve loved dancing all my life and I’ve taken lessons in tap, jazz, ballet and acrobatics.  The one thing I always pined for was ballroom dancing.  I always wondered where those people learned to dance with one another.  When I was in jazz class, I’d see advanced dancers carrying each other through the air.  I always thought, “I want a little piece of that!”

           Last week, I decided to put my thoughts into action after being inspired by “Dancing With the Stars.”  If this TV show is so popular, they’re must be a way to go after this dream.  I googled my way to ballroom dance instruction that looked reputable and I was on my way.  On Friday, I had my first private ballroom dance lesson.

           I’ve always wanted to learn how to dance with a guy who has exceptional rhythm.  Although my husband is interested in learning ballroom, I wanted to take the first class alone.  My husband’s ability to dance-“not” is well documented in my show.

           To say that I didn’t know how to dress for ballroom dancing instruction is an understatement.  Growing up Catholic makes me always reach for plaid.  Sure enough, I arrived in a plaid shirt, goofy work-out pants and yesterday’s horrible black heels.  My ballroom dance instructor, “Cinnamon” must have taken lessons in poker face because as odd as I looked he kept a straight face.  Not easy to do for a black ultra-cool black dude with shades and bling that looked like he could have graced the cover of Ebony Magazine.  When we met he didn’t crack a smile.  I could read the “Oh my god, is this the best they can give me” look that was written all over his face.  When we turned to look in the mirror, the sight was so bizarre I wanted to make it better by promising to wear a Cat Woman suit the next week.  Poor Cinnamon - I knew I’d make it up to him with my ability to “catch on.”

           Cinnamon asked me what  type of music I liked.  I’m thinking  “oldies”and “ Lady Gaga”.  I refused to let my teeny bopper mentality show and I blurted out  “Usher.”  Ha!  I remember being introduced on stage to an Usher song that really made me want to dance.  That counts!

           The lesson was awesome.  Dancing with a man who has rhythm (a black man who has rhythm – super extra bonus points!) was a dream.  It was everything I could imagine – fun, challenging and yet effortless.  Dancing on a cloud is a just description.  As Cinnamon danced he started to smile and repeatedly said “Thank You” as I picked up his moves after only one demonstration.  And best of all, he gave me the ultimate black dancer’s compliment, “Sally, you’ve a got a little black in you.”  Knock me over with feather!  I’d been working for a compliment like that since Gypsy Rose Lee.

           I left the ballroom lesson feeling a true sense of accomplishment.  But like all dreams, it’s time to wake up.  My next dancing lesson includes a challenging (challenged?) and adorable partner – my husband Bert.  Cinnamon, I bet you thought you’d seen everything when I arrived in my goofy plaid shirt and Capri pajama-like pants.  There’s another half to this cool-bound dance lady.  You better work on that poker face.  You’re gonna need it!