Am I Really That Fat? A Photo Speaks!

One of the great things about stand up comedy is that it is a performance art.  And every performance artist is photographed whether they be a comedian, dramatist or Broadway dancer.  And boy do those photos speak!  Sometimes they scream!

As telling as a swimsuit shot, the photo taken on stage tells it like it is.  As horrible as this can be, it is equally wonderful.  I even been thankful for it as in a picture and video taken of me at The Chicago Comedy Festival four years ago.  My initial reaction was, "Who the heck is that!?!"  The supposed "baby doll" top that I wore that day screamed "Baby on Board!"  I knew something had to be done fast.  The very next day I enrolled in Jenny Craig and over the next three months I lost 20 pounds.  I felt reborn.  I felt one photo had saved my life.  Well, four years later after developing an addiction to very vanilla soy milk and honey graham crackers, I'm right back where I started.

I hired a professional photographer to take pictures of me on December 3rd, 2011 at The Energee Center Comedy Club in Wauconda, IL.  Brenda Lung Photography always does a great job and again Brenda pulled through!  However, mixed in with the excellent photography, there is always one photo begs a photoshop fix!  That is the photo that brought me to my senses - I don't have the figure I did in high school or even just four years ago.  How did I so massively digress!

I really do believe that both men and women continue to perceive their bodies as they looked in high school.  If you see a middle-aged man who looks like he carrying "full-term" hitting on a 25 year old babe, it is because his brain is living in denial.  He still sees himself wearing a football jersey who could either run 100 yards or even look great in full chest paint.  Women think like this too.  In my own mind, I see myself with skinny legs and a non-existent waist-line.  The clothes that I bring to the dressing room at T. J. Maxx are always too small.

And that is why I looked at many of my stage .jpgs from the Energee Center Comedy Club in horror. Surely the problem must be the lighting or the clothes or the hair (hair growing out! - also begging a quick fix.)  Rather than letting the depressing facts of an unhealthy diet consume me, I decided change must be imminent.  My ego and mental images of a fat-free high schooler would never let me back on stage again.

And so it is Day 4 of my diet.  Once again, I feel blessed to have the eye of a camera speak to me when others kept their thoughts to themselves.  The camera is my honest best friend who is able to snap me back to reality without a word or raised eyebrow.  I recently joined SparkPeople.com which is a social networking that helps people lose weight with health information and online friends.  It is a wonderful site to get that much-needed support and reassurance.  (Thank goodness my husband picked up a copy of "Good Housekeeping" in the doctor's office that day!)

Now it's onward and upward hoping for a better stage picture in January.  I'll post "before" and "after" pictures when I once again feel a wonderful sense of personal accomplishment!  Do you feel fat?  Don't ask your friends.  Take a picture!