Am I Really That Fat? A Photo Speaks!

One of the great things about stand up comedy is that it is a performance art.  And every performance artist is photographed whether they be a comedian, dramatist or Broadway dancer.  And boy do those photos speak!  Sometimes they scream!

As telling as a swimsuit shot, the photo taken on stage tells it like it is.  As horrible as this can be, it is equally wonderful.  I even been thankful for it as in a picture and video taken of me at The Chicago Comedy Festival four years ago.  My initial reaction was, "Who the heck is that!?!"  The supposed "baby doll" top that I wore that day screamed "Baby on Board!"  I knew something had to be done fast.  The very next day I enrolled in Jenny Craig and over the next three months I lost 20 pounds.  I felt reborn.  I felt one photo had saved my life.  Well, four years later after developing an addiction to very vanilla soy milk and honey graham crackers, I'm right back where I started.

I hired a professional photographer to take pictures of me on December 3rd, 2011 at The Energee Center Comedy Club in Wauconda, IL.  Brenda Lung Photography always does a great job and again Brenda pulled through!  However, mixed in with the excellent photography, there is always one photo begs a photoshop fix!  That is the photo that brought me to my senses - I don't have the figure I did in high school or even just four years ago.  How did I so massively digress!

I really do believe that both men and women continue to perceive their bodies as they looked in high school.  If you see a middle-aged man who looks like he carrying "full-term" hitting on a 25 year old babe, it is because his brain is living in denial.  He still sees himself wearing a football jersey who could either run 100 yards or even look great in full chest paint.  Women think like this too.  In my own mind, I see myself with skinny legs and a non-existent waist-line.  The clothes that I bring to the dressing room at T. J. Maxx are always too small.

And that is why I looked at many of my stage .jpgs from the Energee Center Comedy Club in horror. Surely the problem must be the lighting or the clothes or the hair (hair growing out! - also begging a quick fix.)  Rather than letting the depressing facts of an unhealthy diet consume me, I decided change must be imminent.  My ego and mental images of a fat-free high schooler would never let me back on stage again.

And so it is Day 4 of my diet.  Once again, I feel blessed to have the eye of a camera speak to me when others kept their thoughts to themselves.  The camera is my honest best friend who is able to snap me back to reality without a word or raised eyebrow.  I recently joined SparkPeople.com which is a social networking that helps people lose weight with health information and online friends.  It is a wonderful site to get that much-needed support and reassurance.  (Thank goodness my husband picked up a copy of "Good Housekeeping" in the doctor's office that day!)

Now it's onward and upward hoping for a better stage picture in January.  I'll post "before" and "after" pictures when I once again feel a wonderful sense of personal accomplishment!  Do you feel fat?  Don't ask your friends.  Take a picture!

We're Movin' On Up!

I have some fun shows coming up in the next couple weeks and 2012 but I have to say my favorite place to perform is my hometown of Wauconda.  When my friends, Vicki Laureys and Monica Jablonski decided to bring stand up comedy to Lake County (since the closing of Zanies) I never dreamed we'd open such a wonderful room.  When three women open a comedy club it is soooo different than a club run by a man.  Of course, I'm biased but the ambience of the room, the cleanliness of the bathrooms, the big smiles that greet customers when they walk in is something to that deserves recognition.  And we are happy - genuinely happy!  It's all new and we're reinventing ourselves.  Could three business women ask for anything more.

The room is comfy with so many different kinds of chairs that generates eclectic charm.  The comedians are so warmly welcome, they go on stage and immediately feel the supportive vibe.  I personally love the audiences who want to see you succeed.  Do you know what you get when you give positive energy to a comedian - a super show.  We're the little kids who used to spin in circles or do magic tricks or lip-sink songs while the adults egged us on.  The positive nature of the Lake County crowds is instrumental in the great shows that have hit home since the opening on October 8th.

You can have Hollywood, the glitter, the glare, the noise and the traffic.  I'll take Wauconda because comedy, for me, is to make people feel good!  And it happens here.

Lake County's Clean Comedy Stage - The Energee Center Comedy Club

    Writing the words "clean comedy" was a little bit difficult for me this morning.  It reminds me of the scarcity of clean comedians in the Midwest and that can be a real problem when a headliner cancels.  Last night, the Energee Center's headliner for Saturday night canceled his appearance because he had the opportunity to open for a John Pinette in Milwaukee at the Pabst Theater.  Being a comedian myself, I know that performing at a large venue is something difficult to resist.  It makes your spirit and soul really come alive.  However, now that I also "book" fellow comedians for a venue it also is a heart stopper with only 24 hours to find a clean comedian to fill the headliner's shoes.

My husband, Bert, who books Zanies is a real treasure in a situation like this.  Thank goodness I am married to someone "in the business" who offers moral support along with a good dose of humor whenever stress feels overwhelming.  Although Bert was at TV taping at the Zanies' downtown club, he took the time to reach deep in his little black book to begin firing out suggestions.  Of course, as a wife, I also had to swallow my pride every time he said, "Now you see, my job isn't easy."  The correct response is "Oh yes dear.  I know, and you work so hard."  (I did resist the comedic impulse to say the words in a robot voice.)

They say when God closes a door, he opens a window and I'm a big believer in that.  In this case, he opened a large picture window.  With Bert's suggestion, I reached Bill Gorgo, who can be described as a white Bill Cosby.  His delivery is conversational and in moments you will be laughing to tears and yet not be quite sure how you got there.  The best part is I haven't seen Bill Gorgo in at least 10 years and yet because of my long history in comedy I know he is a perfect fit for the relaxed and very friendly atmosphere of the Energee Center Comedy Club.

I'm proud to be on the roster tonight with Michael Issac (who just got a national Walmart commercial!) and Bill Gorgo.  Onward and upward with clean comedy.  It is always just within reach - with the help of family and friends.

Gearing up for "Comedy Laugh In!"

     I love Wauconda.  And I don't say that lightly.  I Luuuuvvvvv Wauconda!  We moved here one year and four months ago from Arlington Heights and I'm still drinking in the country.  Owning five dogs, I knew I was out of place in Arlington Heights.  (The fact that the police were against dogs in the park also was a big clue.  I told my husband I was forever on the "lam.")
    Of course, all moves have their give and takes.  The big take is the dog park woods where I take my dogs for walks twice a day.  The give (away) is the distance of every and all comedy clubs.  With Zanies leaving Vernon Hills, I feel like I'm on remote island where I have no good access to my craft.

     This summer I went on a quest to find a place for my humor.  And oddly enough, I ran into the answer in my own backyard.  One of my friends, Monica Jablonski, was looking for activites to place in a soon-to-be-vacant space which a part of Vickie's Plaza that includes the a beautiful salon and spa.  Located on Route 59 and just seconds from Route 12, the location is ideal.  Another big advantage for me is that women who frequent Vickie's are my audience - women who would absolutely love to get together and laugh!
     Days later Vickie, Monica and I met to discuss the possibility of bringing comedy (along with other great daily classes and workshops) to the beautiful vacant space.  Our ideas seemed unlimited.  We knew that Wauconda needed something wonderful to call its very own.  I felt elated that I could share the culture I'd know for 25 years - the comedy scene.  Comedy is almost an addiction in its ability to relieve stress and forget about all the troubles of the day and/or week.  It's been a blessing I have known most of my life.  I wanted to give this gift back to Wauconda. 

     With opening day just three days away, the mood at Vickie's Plaza is thrilling.  I know that comedy is a wonderful gift that keeps on giving.  I'm so happy to bring comedy home!
     Days later,

     In mid-July I was desperate to practice a five minute set.  I was preparing for The World Series of Comedy Competition in St. Charles.  The material I chose was very familiar to me but I had not yet put it together to assure myself that it did indeed equal five minutes.  The World Series of Comedy wanted a short and sweet five minutes.

    After scouring the internet, I realize the only "new talent" or "showcase" club feasible for me to practice this five minutes was in Schaumburg at the Laff Out Loud Theater.  I had heard that comedians could do brief sets every other Sunday at this club.  Generally new talents show up and go up.  I had this in mind when I went to the theater's site to find showtimes.  What happened next stunned me and saddened me.

    In order to perform five minutes at The Laff Out Loud Theater, it is necessary to sign up and pay $5.00 by credit card including $1.26 in tax!??!  (Tax?  Taxing what?)  In order to do five minutes of standup comedy after 30 years of stage experience - I had to pay?!  Wow!

    Did I sign up?  Of course I did - out of morbid curiosity.

   Ten days later I drove out to Schaumburg and entered the Laff Out Loud Theater foyer.  I was surrounded by about 15 young comics - the average age was 21.  All I could think was, "Why?"  "Why is this club taking advantage of your drive?  Why don't you know any better?  Why did it come to this again?"

  I performed my short five minute set early in the evening and was out the door by 9:00.  I wanted to leave that environment because it caused my heart to ache for all of those young creative spirits.  If only they could understand how a respectful career in comedy really is supposed to be.