In mid-July I was desperate to practice a five minute set.  I was preparing for The World Series of Comedy Competition in St. Charles.  The material I chose was very familiar to me but I had not yet put it together to assure myself that it did indeed equal five minutes.  The World Series of Comedy wanted a short and sweet five minutes.

    After scouring the internet, I realize the only "new talent" or "showcase" club feasible for me to practice this five minutes was in Schaumburg at the Laff Out Loud Theater.  I had heard that comedians could do brief sets every other Sunday at this club.  Generally new talents show up and go up.  I had this in mind when I went to the theater's site to find showtimes.  What happened next stunned me and saddened me.

    In order to perform five minutes at The Laff Out Loud Theater, it is necessary to sign up and pay $5.00 by credit card including $1.26 in tax!??!  (Tax?  Taxing what?)  In order to do five minutes of standup comedy after 30 years of stage experience - I had to pay?!  Wow!

    Did I sign up?  Of course I did - out of morbid curiosity.

   Ten days later I drove out to Schaumburg and entered the Laff Out Loud Theater foyer.  I was surrounded by about 15 young comics - the average age was 21.  All I could think was, "Why?"  "Why is this club taking advantage of your drive?  Why don't you know any better?  Why did it come to this again?"

  I performed my short five minute set early in the evening and was out the door by 9:00.  I wanted to leave that environment because it caused my heart to ache for all of those young creative spirits.  If only they could understand how a respectful career in comedy really is supposed to be.

Comedians Pay - $2.00 and a Free Drink!?

     New young comedians are now paying to take the stage!  Certainly this must be a joke!  (Pun may be intended - it's your call.)

     As a new comedian, I was thrilled to perform.  I started at the Comedy Cottage in Rosemont, IL where comedians could perform for 5 minutes and receive $2 in pay, plus a free drink.  No one questioned the pay.  We were so happy to be on stage in a room that was "hot."

   The Comedy Cottage was an ideal size for stand up comedy and it had great acoustics.  It was a money making a machine!  Did I mention that the performers were paid $2.00?  Oh yes, I think I did.

  On both the east and west coasts, comedy was hot.  Jay Leno, Jerry Seinfeld, David Letterman, Drew Carey were just a few of the comedians getting their start.  They performed at places like "Catch A Rising Star" in N.Y. and "The Comedy Store" in L.A.  Their pay - $5.  The club owner referred to it as "gas money."  The stand up comedy club scene was on fire.  The clubs were raking it in.  Did I mention that Jay Leno (who has always been a superior comedian) received $5.  Yep.  I think I did.

    Eventually the comics cried, "Enough is Enough!" and the comedy writers and performers went on strike.  They demanded to be paid.  They demanded respect.  They wanted to be appreciated.  I can personally tell you that while the writers strike was on, television entertainment was at an all new low.  I sure missed the talents of my incredibly funny peers.

  The result of the strike was a decent paycheck for services rendered.  Comedy is a business too.  Comedians need food and shelter and they need to be appreciated for their talents.  The strike made the world seem right again!  (More tomorrow on the comedy scene.)

Best Case Scenario - Your Child Leaves Home - Hmmmmm

     They say that the sign of success when bringing up children is that they grow up and leave.  Can someone come up with another sign please?  This payoff doesn't sound so good.
     Mothers are torn between wanting to see their children accomplish great things and staying home forever and ever. Have you seen parents drop their children off at college for the first time? Bobby or Susie immediately blends into the sea of other excited Freshmen while mom and dad linger lost in their own aching hearts. Often, colleges will post the time for parent departure for fear that dad will don his old football uniform and beg his boy to throw around the ball just one last time.
     My first son, Brendan, just graduated from the University of Chicago with honors in Physics.  (Yes.  I'm beaming.  I'm a comedian and yet I gave birth to a physicist.  God has a great sense of humor.  No wonder he was such a tough crowd.)  We went to Brendan's graduation knowing what his exciting future held.  He'd been picked from the graduating class, along with one other physics major, to go to Switzerland to work at the CERN Nuclear Collider for one year - paid!  My husband and I couldn't be more proud.  We've high-fived, Facebooked, Skyed and Twittered from the rooftops.
  In my quieter moments, I was thinking something quite different.  (Bear in mind, I often think in ways to entertain myself.)  THEY JUST KIDNAPPED MY KID.  I did everything right, read all the Mommy books, attended the soccer games, made the chocolate chip cookies and bought him the expensive calculator.  The result of my efforts were an INTERNATIONAL KIDNAPPING.  How come Switzerland gets him!
  I Gmail Chatted with Brendan this morning as he watched over a number of controls at the CERN facility.  He's been in Geneva for two months now and is doing great!  To Brendan, this is an adventure of a lifetime and it will propel him even faster toward his dreams.  We are all so proud!  Secretly, I know I had the most wonderful adventure of watching this all come to be.  It started when he was six years old in the backseat of our minivan when he asked, "Mom, what do you think about black holes?"  Being a comedian I was speechless and thought, "Yikes.  This parenting thing sure would be a lot easier if I could just answer with a joke!"

The Comedy Competition - You Gotta Love 'Em

  Last night I performed in a comedy competition - "The World Series of Comedy" - at Zanies in St. Charles, IL.  Sixteen comedians took the stage to win fabulous bookings, including advancement to Las Vegas.  Some comics flew from as far away as Washington (yes - the state!) to perform in this battle of hilarity for the opportunity to simply work more. (Yes - comedians love their craft that much.)  I had a super time.

   My reason for entering the competition was not for an opportunity to win.  Yes.  I said it.  Because I perform a one-person comedy show, I was not trying to win the prize of a middle spot at various comedy clubs.  And, based on my history of my competition abilities I was not worried about winning the grand prize.  (Some thrive on the competition aspect.  I generally avoid competitive comedy.)  I entered the competition because I wanted a personal challenge.  I wanted to stay "fresh" over the summer months when my bookings ebb with the school year calendar.

  To prepare for the competition, I performed a five minute set one week ago on the St. Charles comedy stage.  This guest set was to get the wheels back in motion.  My daughter said, "Yes Mom.  I could see you thinking."  Mission accomplished.

  Four days later, I went to "Laff Out Loud" in Schaumburg for another five minute "practice" set.  I was surrounded primarily by new talents.  The energy of these brand new comedians was amazing.  Most went on stage "raw" with new jokes that screamed "This is what I think is funny."  The laughs were minimal and most of the material was blue (i.e. dirty).  However, the energy among the comedians was new and hopeful.  It gave me a great push to polish my set.

  And this brings us to Wednesday night's competition.  With two sets of preparation, I was back on my game.  The audience was fantastic.  I reached my goal of making a great stride forward as I prepare for my corporate bookings which seem to wake from a deep slumber in the fall.  I won a personal prize of accomplishment and that, to me, is the greatest win of all!

Join Sally Edwards at The World Series of Comedy!

Comedian Sally Edwards at Zanies Comedy Club

The World Series of Comedy
Zanies, Pheasant Run, St. Charles, IL

Join Sally Edwards and 39 Professional Comics as they Compete To Win A Trip To The Main Event in Las Vegas! Special room rates available at the Pheasant Run Resort!

Wildcard Wednesday:
Round 1 comics will perform 5 minutes.
Three round 1 comics will advance.
One Wildcard winner will perform in each of Thursday & Friday shows.


Thursday:
Each comic in round 2 will perform 7 minutes.
Six round 2 comics will advance to Saturday's first show.

Friday and Saturday: Comics Line-Up Coming Soon

First Place:
Direct Entry & Free Registration into the Main Event in Las Vegas
$200 Airfare Voucher for Trip to Las Vegas
Hotel Room for 5 Nights in Las Vegas
Paid Work from Zanies Comedy Club
Come out and be heard!

Help! I'm Vacationing with a Teen!

This past weekend my daughter  and I went on a “girl’s weekend.”  We packed a bag and headed for a bizarre but unique museum-of-sorts called “House on the Rock” near Madison, Wisconsin.  I was thrilled to go.  My daughter has been away at college for a year and she came back having a new appreciation for “Mom.”   (My friends said it would happen but I had too much post-traumatic teen stress to believe it.)  In just one short year, I’d shed the labels of “uncool”, “lame”, “pathetic” and “kinda creepy.”  (I believe that now I am well on my way to “Woman of the Year.”)  

Our weekend was a mere 36 hours long.  I thought it would consist of a nice “House on the Rock” visit, an overnight stay at a hotel, reading and dinner.  After all, as I remember it “vacation” means rest and relaxation.  

Hold on to your seats folks.  I forgot what “vacation” means to the young at heart.  In just 36 hours, we visited House on the Rock (a two hour tour of the collections of Alex Jordan), Cave of the Mounds (a one hour tour of a limestone cave), the Frank Lloyd Wright Visitor’s Center (my daughter is studying to be an architect), a game of racquetball (which consisted mostly of hysterical laughing), a game of tennis (more laughing), a stop at a roadside petting zoo, a visit to “Little Norway” (just like Norway – but little) and finally, a peek at the Wild West Museum.

When we returned home I was still running, high on the NoDoz I took just to make the three hour drive without needing a nap at the wheel.   I felt invigorated!

The next morning, my daughter left the house at 5:00 a.m. to work at her summer bakery job where she stayed until 3:00 p.m.  The next morning, I didn’t look cool.  I looked pathetic, lame and “kinda creepy.”   I stayed in bed ‘til 12:00 and I believe I can tell you how it feels to be in a bar fight.   It has taken me two full days to recover.  And yes, you guessed it, my daughter is still going strong.  Maybe “cool” was too big of a goal to reach in 36 hours.  I’m pretty proud of hanging in there, not breaking anything and remaining conscious as I drove the rugged terrain of Northwest Wisconsin! 

Who needs to be young and cool again anyway?  It’s just  too exhausting!

The Change of Life and Perry Como

I'm not sure that most women know that the change is coming. Most women aren't even quite sure the change has arrived as they stand motionless in the eye of their own hurricane. Oddly enough, those dear men who accompany us through life and who we claim are oblivious to feminine needs are aware of the change the very minute our hormones start to do their wicked dance.

     What gives it away? Is it the spinning head or the weepy welcomes or the air conditioning running in December?

     I admit I was oblivious. I knew something was not quite right. I thought I was sick. My brain was not functioning as normal. It's as if people were talking to me and I was absorbing the information through cotton candy. I felt slightly feverish. "Surely I must be coming down with something," I thought.

     It can't be menopause. I'm not sweating profusely in bed. I had experienced a hot flash or two over the years but nothing significant. Menopause is supposed to be loaded with countless nights of changing nightgowns. I was in the clear - or so I thought.

     "I believe you're peri-menopausal." Dr. O'Brien peered at me down his nose and through horn-rimmed reading glasses. That was a new one. "What's peri-menopause?" I asked. "Well that's the time before menopause when a woman starts to feel mild hormonal changes resulting in cloudy thinking and feelings of warmth accompanied by stress and irritability."

     Still not convinced that I could have a pinky over the other side, I asked, "But how can you be sure that I'm peri-menopausal?" In professional knee-jerk authority he responded, "Do you know who Perry Como is?"

     Perry Como - the American crooner, the hearthrob of the '50s and beyond.  I remember Perry Como, the famous singer, the recording artist, the television star, that handsome hunk. I  confirmed the many years I spent on earth when I responded, "Yes!"

     And with that the deal was sealed.

     I drove home realizing I reached the summit. I had that one pinky over the line. I tried to cheer myself up by humming a tune - a rendition of "Jingle Bells" that Perry Como made popular so many very short years ago.